I am meant to be sewing the rest of my Christmas presents today but am way too to tired from the party we had last night! I was a good girl and only had three glasses of wine and plenty of water but still have the after effects of a good night.
I have gone from a low to a high in that past three days. I woke up on Friday to a phone call from the hospital telling me that my chemo would be on Christmas eve! Well you can imagine what my reaction to that was.... in the politest possible way I told them they could forget it! Why on earth would I be OK about having chemo on Christmas eve of all days. Im surprised they even do it on that day anyway. I wouldn't think anyone would be having it then. They called me back to tell me that I would have to have it on New years eve instead. Still not great but its better then the previous date. Its unfortunate that my chemo has to be on Wednesdays and those two Eve's land on those days.
At least I will not be tempted to go out. New years eve has always been an anti climax and I only ever seem to have amazing or awful ones. I guess this will be one of the awful ones. It is possible I could have waited another week but I would rather just get it out of the way. Joe will be coming up to spend New years eve with me and a friend has offered to come with me too. I think a night in with some Christmas films will do me fine.
So apart from being a little miffed at the news that morning I also had more bad news. My mum told me that our dog was going to the vets to be put down. He is a very old dog who struggles to do anything and it was hard to know what to do. How do you know when its an animals time to go when they can't help you by telling you. It was decided that it was perhaps his time to go. We were all very upset about the idea and wanted to make sure so we made sure dad asked the vet on his opinion.
All feeling guilty but knowing that this was perhaps the best thing for him we said our goodbyes.
About an hour later dad came home with Blue! We were all relieved that he was still with us and the vet had said there is more life in him yet but he would expect to see him again in a few months.
It had been an emotional day for all. My sister had moved down that so it was a nice distraction from what was going on.
There was something about a lot of C words recently that I wasn't liking. Apart from Christmas and creativity there is Cancer, Chemo and Candida also effecting my life right now. I am still struggling with Candida. Its obviously not as important as the cancer but when it is still effecting me its hard to ignore. Having been on an anti candida diet I have lost a lot of weight. I know I need to put some back on to build my strength up while going through chemo. Putting on weight while on the anti candida diet is virtually impossible to do, so I have been eating things I haven't been able to in the last year. It has to be done carefully though as I will worsen the candida making be ill in other ways.
I must have been over doing it last week because I have really been suffering the last 3 days. It seems so unfair that I can not indulge in all the foods I love the most! I know the chemo also worsens candida as well so I do have to be careful with what I eat. I will have to tackle killing the candida after the chemo. But I must say I AM sick of it right now!!!
I always struggle at the weekends as want to be busy seeing people and socializing. I don't mind being stuck in through the week but when it gets to the weekend I seem to get down. I know it is only temporary and I guess with it being the festive season people are out a lot and it makes you feel like you are missing out. There is plenty time to come to enjoy myself after all this and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
It was that time of the month, which I am effected badly by and I was suffering from my yeast infection. I was not having much fun! But there was something to look forward to and that was the Christmas drinks I was having Sunday night. I had only invited a few close girlfriends. My dad decided to take it upon himself to invite all the neighbours round which in fact turned out OK as not all my friends could make it so it livened things up a bit. Not that my small group of friends needs livening up as they are pretty much good at doing that themselves, it was just good to keep the numbers up.
It was a fantastic night! Lots of catching up, drinking and eating, laughs and even guitar hero!!
It is now Tuesday and I am incredibly hungover! It was worth it though as I had a fantastic night out. Its certainly a while since I have had that much fun. The last night I drank that much was on my birthday in August. I feel rough but actually expected to be feeling a lot worse considering I was on the vino rouge. I guess my body thinks its nothing compared to the chemo!
I have gone from a low to a high in that past three days. I woke up on Friday to a phone call from the hospital telling me that my chemo would be on Christmas eve! Well you can imagine what my reaction to that was.... in the politest possible way I told them they could forget it! Why on earth would I be OK about having chemo on Christmas eve of all days. Im surprised they even do it on that day anyway. I wouldn't think anyone would be having it then. They called me back to tell me that I would have to have it on New years eve instead. Still not great but its better then the previous date. Its unfortunate that my chemo has to be on Wednesdays and those two Eve's land on those days.
At least I will not be tempted to go out. New years eve has always been an anti climax and I only ever seem to have amazing or awful ones. I guess this will be one of the awful ones. It is possible I could have waited another week but I would rather just get it out of the way. Joe will be coming up to spend New years eve with me and a friend has offered to come with me too. I think a night in with some Christmas films will do me fine.
So apart from being a little miffed at the news that morning I also had more bad news. My mum told me that our dog was going to the vets to be put down. He is a very old dog who struggles to do anything and it was hard to know what to do. How do you know when its an animals time to go when they can't help you by telling you. It was decided that it was perhaps his time to go. We were all very upset about the idea and wanted to make sure so we made sure dad asked the vet on his opinion.
All feeling guilty but knowing that this was perhaps the best thing for him we said our goodbyes.
About an hour later dad came home with Blue! We were all relieved that he was still with us and the vet had said there is more life in him yet but he would expect to see him again in a few months.
It had been an emotional day for all. My sister had moved down that so it was a nice distraction from what was going on.
There was something about a lot of C words recently that I wasn't liking. Apart from Christmas and creativity there is Cancer, Chemo and Candida also effecting my life right now. I am still struggling with Candida. Its obviously not as important as the cancer but when it is still effecting me its hard to ignore. Having been on an anti candida diet I have lost a lot of weight. I know I need to put some back on to build my strength up while going through chemo. Putting on weight while on the anti candida diet is virtually impossible to do, so I have been eating things I haven't been able to in the last year. It has to be done carefully though as I will worsen the candida making be ill in other ways.
I must have been over doing it last week because I have really been suffering the last 3 days. It seems so unfair that I can not indulge in all the foods I love the most! I know the chemo also worsens candida as well so I do have to be careful with what I eat. I will have to tackle killing the candida after the chemo. But I must say I AM sick of it right now!!!
I always struggle at the weekends as want to be busy seeing people and socializing. I don't mind being stuck in through the week but when it gets to the weekend I seem to get down. I know it is only temporary and I guess with it being the festive season people are out a lot and it makes you feel like you are missing out. There is plenty time to come to enjoy myself after all this and I have to keep reminding myself of that.
It was that time of the month, which I am effected badly by and I was suffering from my yeast infection. I was not having much fun! But there was something to look forward to and that was the Christmas drinks I was having Sunday night. I had only invited a few close girlfriends. My dad decided to take it upon himself to invite all the neighbours round which in fact turned out OK as not all my friends could make it so it livened things up a bit. Not that my small group of friends needs livening up as they are pretty much good at doing that themselves, it was just good to keep the numbers up.
It was a fantastic night! Lots of catching up, drinking and eating, laughs and even guitar hero!!
It is now Tuesday and I am incredibly hungover! It was worth it though as I had a fantastic night out. Its certainly a while since I have had that much fun. The last night I drank that much was on my birthday in August. I feel rough but actually expected to be feeling a lot worse considering I was on the vino rouge. I guess my body thinks its nothing compared to the chemo!
Well this will be my last blog before Christmas so thank you for reading and have a great Yule-tide and New year!
Comments
They are trying it on telling you you can have your Chemo on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve - tell them to bugger off.
Just think how amazing next year will be. Happy Christmas yo all of you and hope your Turkey is cooked right through- I am really stressed about mine and I am not even cooking it - my mum is - so really I need to learn to chill a bit.
Lots of love and remember there is a whole team of people out there rooting and praying for you. Have a fab time, lots of love from all of usxxx