Post Op

It seems like its been ages since I came out of hospital, 7 weeks in fact. I stopped writing in my diary so do not remember an awful lot.

It felt great to be home again and to be in my own environment again! I slept like a baby and enjoyed no interruptions. Joe's cooking was great compared to the hospital food. In fact his cooking is very good anyway, one of the things I love about him. I would say the way to my heart is defiantly through my stomach!

The only down fall about being home alone though was all the time I had on my hands. I ended up looking up all sorts of things to do with the treatment I was going to be having. I would get myself into a frenzy about it. Looking at all treatments all at once seemed too much to bare too! You really do have to take each step as it comes and to try and not look things up on the Internet or you can never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

A few days later I found a little lump underneath my wound and totally freaked out. I thought it may have been the port from my expander.  I went to see a doctor and he said it was probably a pocket of fluid. It did disappear after a few days so was very relieved. Its quite scary coming out of hospital and not knowing whether some things are normal or not. 

I did not like wearing the elastic support band as it was quite uncomfortable and did not wear it all the time at first. When I looked on the breast care website and read that some peoples expanders had moved about, even into their armpit I made sure I wore it.

My mum and sister came down for a few days which was lovely and kept me occupied. We went for my Post op appointment and all was to be expected really. The doctor confirmed the  size of the tumour and that the cancer had spread to the 2nd tier of lymph nodes. I would defiantly need the rest of the treatment that they had already suggested.

I did have a huge lump under my arm where the fluid was building up which is called a seroma. This was very normal and had it drained. It was a goo job I couldn't feel a thing because the size of the needle was like I have never seen before! I'm sure my mum was sitting the other side of the curtain worrying! I was quite surprised when she said she wanted to have a look at my wound. I happily showed her and I think she was surprised at how good it looked too.

I had to start to doing physio twice a week as I could not raise my arm fully. It was hard and frustrating at first but got easier. I still have got full use of my arm but it is a lot better.

I went to see the plastic surgeon in East Grinsted and he was very pleased with the results. I had my seroma drained. It felt great not having a lump under my arm. I was really pleased to hear that I did not have to wear the elastic support band too as it added to the pain. Its great they get you to wear it as it keeps the expander in place while breast tissue is growing around it.

 Joe and I went to the Hastings bonfire night which is 2 weeks before Guy Fawkes night as it is more of a pagan tradition. I was very nervous about being out and about in the crowds so we went up on the hill and watched the fireworks from there. My wound still hurt especially when I walked so walking up the hill was really uncomfortable. I was worried that I was over doing it.

I love animals and hear that they are good to help a fast recovery. I love going to Joe's parents house to see their cats and dogs. Mims and Mitzy are my favourite. Mims is a whippet cross who is so funny because she has a brain the size of a pea! Mitzy loves me which is apparently odd as she only loves Joe's mum. Nell the other dog is very sensitive to whats going on her around her and Ginge the other cat is the handsome one of the bunch.

I went back to Leicester for a bit. Everyone I saw could not believe how well I was doing. I was coping so well and after the pain had gone the surgery was not bothering me one bit. I surprised myself at haw well I was coping. I was ready to be a mess and to have to see a councilor about it. I thought I would not want Joe to see me or come near me but that was not the case either. It helped that the surgeons had done such a good job but I also realised that there was no need to be insecure. After all I had not changed as a person, I was still me with or without my breast.

I tried to enjoy the rest of the time I had before my chemo. I knew that this part was probably going to be the toughest!