Living with breast cancer in my twenties

I forgot to put this in my last blog. I have heard so many friends tell me about other people losing there hair. Their hair has grown back thicker, stronger, a different colour and in a lot of cases even curly! I hear this is called the 'chemo curl'. Well I can tell you now that it is SO worth losing my hair if it grows back wavy. I have always wanted wavy hair. A different colour would be good too! I have dyed my hair since I was 15. It started off with the dreaded Sun In spray which turned my hair orange. I have natural brown hair but a rubbish in between shade of brown. I like dramatic colours, so red, dark brown or blonde would do me just fine! I heard this lovely story from a girl who has been ringing me through the breast care website. She had heard that this old man in his 70's or 80's lost his hair from chemo. When it grew back it was his original colour before he went grey which was ginger. How lovely is that!! I have always loved and been jealous of my partner...

I had short hair from the age of 16 up until a year ago. I always loved to experiment with my hair. I was a snip happy hairdressers dream! I have had my hair cut in a pixie cut before so It won't be too much of a shock when I have to cut it really short. It IS slightly a kick in the teeth though when I had only just grown it really long to be losing it now. It has not been that long since I was 15. I always found long hair boring when I was younger but when I grew it back I loved it!! I have had my hair cut by the wonderful Jenny Chase. Its shoulder length, she did a fab job but was not over the moon about it as it was not through choice. I thought it would be hard work with having the chemo so decided not to have a fringe put in but after a few days having a normal hair cut that didn't say anything about me was annoying me so decided to cut my fringe back in. Did a slightly bad job of it but it does make me feel more me again. Its silly moaning about a normal hair cut as I wil...

I was not really sure whether to be a little scared or not about today. I must say though I AM sick of being prodded and poked, so was not exactly ecstatic about having a line shoved up my vein and into my chest.  The PICC line is to make it easier for me to have my chemo and blood tests. It can get infected which is the down side but generally if its flushed out every week and you cover it up in the shower it should be fine. I had some local anesthetic cream put on my invisible veins and went off for an hour.   Back at the hospital and the nurse started the preparation. My arm was numb.. ish, but I could still feel enough to not find the experience very pleasant. I would like to just say.. I have no pain thresh hold and get woozy very easily. It might be a piece of cake for some people, so if any one reading this has one of these done remember it might be better for you. It took three attempts to put the cannula in. I was getting impatient as it was hurting . Joe sat behind my head wh...

The dreaded day arrived. I woke up feeling OK actually. I had managed to sleep too. I had dreamt about my Gran the night before. She died of lung cancer when I was 8. She was the best Gran you could ever have! The type that spoilt you rotten. I have only ever dreamt about her once before. The night before I went traveling for the first time. I was worried about going because of something awful had happened in the family and was unsure whether that going was the right thing to do. She told me that everything was going to be OK. It comforted me. She said the same words to me in this dream too. I believe when someone has passed away and you dream about them it is them visiting you through your dream. Strangely enough I had gone to see a medium a few weeks ago. She said that my Gran was with me and she said every thing was going to be OK. The exact same words. I woke up feeling calm, a little nervous perhaps but calm. I was trying not to think about it too much anyway. Joe and my parents c...

I had my expander (my temporary reconstruction) filled up with saline today. I have had it done once before, a few weeks ago. Its is to expand and stretch the skin. It can not be filled up to your size when it is put in. So I was not balanced out straight away. They initially  told me that it would need to be filled up about 7 times.  Seven times seemed an awful lot. They said that it needs to be slightly bigger, but I thought I would end up lob sided if I had it done 7 times. The good news is that might have been the last time they do it. Im looking pretty big on that side now.  It is already looking bigger then my real breast and is rock hard and very round. I feel like Jordan on one side! Its not very comfortable for a few days and I can not sleep on my front anymore. I often find myself waking up on my front and freaking out thinking I could crush it. Apparently you can't. I guess its a little like when your pregnant only not such a big bump. Its quite amazing how they do it ac...

I sat on the train on my way back to Brighton today with a huge smile on my face. I was sad to leave my mum and dreading going back because of my treatment. However, the last few days have been very uplifting. Since writing these blogs, not only is it very therapeutic for me but it is already helping people.  I have had an abundance of positive and kind words from people, some of whom I do not know. For friends, its helping them understand what I am going through and they now feel like they can be more supportive. For others it has made them realise that they have issues from the past that they have buried and really need to confront before its too late. Amazingly I have heard its already reached someone with who has recently been diagnosed with cancer and found my blog comforting. Some people have lost loved once and those dear to them to the big 'C', and it is now helping them understand what they might have gone through.  I have had friends open up to me who might have not d...

My surgery was to be on the 8th October. It came around so quickly. I tried to enjoy the 2 weeks I had leading up to it as much as I could. I had so much time to think so instead of thinking of the worst all the time which I do, I tried starting to think more positively about the whole thing. I had to break everything down and not think about the whole thing in one huge chunk, as it seemed too much to bear. Taking each step as it comes is a lot easier and not looking into all the different types of therapy I was going to have. The reason I want to write a brief outline about my life is because I feel it is relevant to whats going on now. I have not gone into too much detail as its perhaps a bit too personal. I believe I have cancer because of stress and issues I have that I have never confronted and just let it manifest into something toxic inside of me. I read a book that my mum gave me called How to heal your life, by Louise Hay. It made a lot of sense and I already knew a lot of the...

The Miriam Charitable Trust was set up in honour of Miriam Eaton by her family and friends. Miriam died of lung cancer in August 2001, aged 26.The Miriam Trust provide financial assistance for a variety of practical needs for people with cancer from the age 18 - 35. http://www.justgiving.com/miriamtrust/donate/ Please donate to this local cancer charity.

The 18 th of September. That date will stay with me forever. I was getting my results in the afternoon so I took the day off work and went into town and went shopping for a belt to go with an outfit for my friends 30 th birthday which was the next night. I bought a belt, hair slides and even some hair dye, that's how convinced I was that I'd be OK. I met my mum from the train station and headed to the hospital. Joe met us there from work. I walked up to the hospital and a white feather fell from the sky right in front of me. It was comforting but worrying at the same time. I believe in guardian angels and I knew this was a way of mine saying I'm around you right now. I thought this could either mean things are OK or there not but it will all be OK. I was called in very quickly considering I was so used to waiting around for ages. The doctor was a very cheerful character and greeted me like he knew me. He examined me again felt around my shoulders and then gave me a little...

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 months ago at the age of 29. I wanted to start writing a blog to create some awareness for other young women and to be an inspiration to young women who are going through this too. I felt like there was not enough emotional support for me when I found out and was so desperate to find other women in their twenty's going through this too. I am now on a new journey, it might not be pleasant but I'm stuck with it and so have to be optimistic and make something good out of it. I feel very strongly about helping other women and giving them the support they deserve. You hear about women in their 50's going through this but no one as young as in their 20's. This is why it came as such a shock to me. One moment I had just got back from traveling, moved to Brighton to start a new and exciting life and the next thing I know I have cancer! I found a lump in my breast about 4 months ago. I only found it because I had a sore nipple. Ive never ...