Living with breast cancer in my twenties

I soon came down after the high I was on from the steroids and knew the next few days were going to be rough. I knew going on my folks narrow boat for a few days would be a good idea. The oncologist said my blood count would be at its lowest so I wanted to stay away from most people in case of infections. It was to be a busy weekend with my younger sisters popping down too so I saw everyone in dribs and drabs over the weekend. I had my interview on the Friday morning. Not feeling very awake or prepared I did my best. I felt a little nervous as have never had an interview before and tend not to be too hot at speaking. I Umm and aahh and say 'you know' a lot. I never really seem to be able to say what I want and get mental blocks! I was not too sure that I would come across well or that my point was even going to come across as much as I wanted. It was done and any publicity is good! As long as more people are finding out my blog the better. It was now time to get away! Being on ...

It was an early start yesterday for the chemo. I had to pick up my wig before,which I am pleased with and can't wait for Jen to style! It is now hanging on the post at the end of my bed scaring everyone that comes in thinking there is someone there! Very amusing! Mum and I arrived at the chemo suite (suite! Ha, what a joke!) I was told I need to get my bloods done again as the blood count was low the day before. I was a little worried it was because I had over done it the previous week but don't think its uncommon at this stage for my bloods to be low. I prayed they would be OK. We waited a while to see the oncologist who told me that they were fine and then proceeded to tell me about what to expect with the TAX chemo. I was pleased to hear that sickness may no to be a problem and that it was more tiredness and achy bones. I was also pleased to hear that he was going to give me an injection to boost my white blood cells. He told me that this chemo session may take its toll a l...

I pretty much made the most of the last week. I have had huge amounts of fun seeing various people and visiting my friends in Brighton. A lot of alcohol has been consumed and the late nights have taken it toll, but it has been worth it. I forgot how much I love Brighton because of the weird, wonderful and colourful characters you get down there. It makes me feel very comfortable being me and even fairly normal! It was a painful and slow train journey back to Leicester yesterday as I was quite hung over. Back home and back to reality. I began to think about my next chemo on Wednesday. I have no idea what to expect and so a little anxious. I woke up this morning from having a full night of dreaming being in the hospital and having my chemo. Its made me feel a little down for the rest of the day. I know there is no point in worrying. I do know that I am not looking forward to being back on the steroids though. I have to start taking eight tomorrow and the next day but hopefully that will ...

Well after many somber posts I thought it was about time I wrote a positive and more upbeat one. I have not an awful lot to write about in this one so shall keep it short and sweet. I am feeling a lot better since the awful day I had on Friday. Being free off a long plastic line hanging out of your arm is rather pleasant! It was a constant reminder of what I am going through, not that I needed reminding. Its nice to not have to worry about wearing long sleeves when I go out, not that I really did that either! But.. my arm feels free of this alien object that was inserted into my vein and I'm glad of it, even if does mean having cannulas from now on. I have decided that a hickman line probably is not worth having for such a short amount of time. Its more a long term thing to have and is visible on the outside of your chest. I think it would have really done my head in to be honest, more so then the PICC even if I had got used to it. I do not fancy a scar either. I think that the fa...

A week later I have only just recovered from the chemo. Sunday I was vomiting all night, not pleasant! I was not sure if I had got a bug or if it was still from the chemo. I was fine in the day and by 8 the weirdest sensation came over me and I started to feel sick. I do not cope with being ill very well with having a bad pain thresh hold. I did not know what to do with myself when I started to feel very strange. Vomiting took away that feeling but soon came back. It was hard to sleep that night, I was very restless. The next day I was shattered! I stayed in bed all day which is probably what my body needed. For the next two days I still did not feel quiet right. The unusual feeling came over me the next night unexpected. There was not a lot I could do other then go to bed and think of lovely thoughts until I feel asleep. I thought about something I wanted in the future and pictured the whole scene. It was beautiful, and worked a treat. I still feeling sick the next day, the nurse told...

I'm probably not in the best frames of mind to be writing this right now but saying that I do need to get some stuff of my chest so perhaps its not bad timing. I do apologise now for the negativity I am about to blurt out. I'll have my rant and then be positive again after!! Its the weekend after my chemo and I still don't feel human. I defiantly have chemo brain, in other words my brain feels completely F* cked ! This has been the worst chemo yet. Not sure if its because of it being the third (I heard people have a bad time on their third) or its because I have transferred hospitals. Funding seemed to be better down south, I did not get the same anti sickness up here and have felt worse off. I woke up on New years eve feeling calm after dreading it the night before. Everywhere was covered in in frost. It was a beautiful landscape to drive through on the way to the hospital. It made me smile and lifted my spirits that morning. I'd been reading a book about angels that m...